Christmas Spirit

Guess who’s in the Christmas spirit?

Yesterday changed my view on life and also for now has made me want to live at least to be there for Christmas.

I had the most perfect day in London with my best friend. We spent the whole day doing photography and we had lunch at Five Guys – my all time favourite restaurant. That night we we went shopping on Oxford Street and then went round photographing the Christmas lights that are already appearing even though it is early November.

Am I complaining? Hell no.

It was such a beautiful day. One shop was lit up with Christmas lights and was also spraying fake snow from the roof which was so perfect and seasonal. I had nearly forgotten how much I loved Christmas. I think for the first time in so long, I was truly happy yesterday and I never wanted that feeling to end. All feelings come to an end though but I am back in a stable mood so I’m content for the moment.

Yesterday however, Amber and I experienced the sadness of not having enough money to buy the clothes we wanted so now we both have racked up a long list of clothes we saw that day. Also she was incredibly mean in WHSmith and threatened to buy grapefruit flavoured drinks because she knows I can’t have them.

There was an incredibly awkward moment on the train home. I had sat down because Amber told me I was annoying everyone on the train so to take the recently vacated seat. When the seat next to me became available she came and sat with me and told me that the guy I’d been looking at on the train was planning to propose to his girlfriend so I couldn’t go there. I had my earphones in so I didn’t realise how loud I was being. So being the idiot I am, I yelled “He’s proposing to his girlfriend???” not knowing that he was still on the train and standing behind me. I didn’t speak again that journey.

After I got home, I went straight back out again to hang out with some friends in Banstead. That brought me straight out of the fatigue I was feeling and instead I was extremely hyper and consequently, couldn’t sleep last night. It was worth it though, I was carefree, and felt like I could do anything. Even the heavy rain didn’t stop me – I feel like I’ll regret that part now that I’ve partially lost my voice.

So here I am in the present after regaining my lost love of Christmas and I am fully excited for everything to do with my favourite holiday.

I’ve realised something about what happens when I take Quetiapine now. Its a pattern I’ve noticed within the past couple of days where I will take it and be wide awake for an hour and a half but as soon as that time has finished I will suddenly be overcome with drowsiness and be knocked out within minutes. It’s so sudden and I don’t know why it happens. I need to look into that more but today is not a day to dwell on medication effects.

I feel like today will be prosperous, I don’t know why I think that considering I have both English and Philosophy today. I will not let that dampen my spirits though. I am wearing white jeans today which I don’t know why but they put me in a good mood and I like them.

I’ve got a lesson now so I’m going to go.

This is me signing off.



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