Dear Sister…

Dear Sister,

I’d never say any of this to you in real life because I’m far too stubborn. You are my little sister and I hate seeing you get hurt. I know I was never around when you were growing up and I know you probably resent me most of the time for that. I was too busy dealing with things of my own to watch you grow up and lead you in the right direction. I told myself I couldn’t care less, that you could do whatever you wanted and I didn’t give a damn. I was never there when dad was angry, I just sat in my room listening to you crying and thanking god it wasn’t me anymore. When you first started showing signs of anxiety all the way back in year 1, I rolled my eyes and yelled at you for being pathetic just because I couldn’t handle my own anxiety. I put you down about yourself all the time, not thinking about the damage it would cause later on, I made fun of the way you looked, your weight so you ended up losing loads of weight and becoming underweight. I hated you for always having mums attention and never letting me near her. I wish I’d spent more time with you growing up, I wish I hadn’t pushed you away, blocked you out and I hate myself every day for it. I wish we had a normal relationship as siblings, not based on purely blackmail and cold looks. I don’t believe we’ve even ever hugged before. You’re at my school now and I worry about you everyday. Before, you were shielded from the harsh comments people can make but now you can’t be as protected as you used to be. This upsets me because you still act too young to be in year 7. All your friends are so grown up and you still act so little. I keep yelling at you to grow up but it’s not to hurt you I promise, it’s to protect you from the horrible things people say. You are beautiful, no matter what anyone says, and it breaks my heart to see you upset over some random boy, that will get no where in life, because he called you ugly. I  want to protect you, I don’t want you thinking these things at the age of 11. It shouldn’t happen. You are my baby sister, you are beautiful, perfect and pure. Don’t let any stupid boys tell you what you’re worth, in the long run, they won’t mean a thing. Focus on education, it may not seem important now but take it from me, you don’t want to be stuck with the minimum GCSEs not knowing what you’re going to do. Don’t hate or patronise your teachers, they’re only doing their job, respect them. I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again, you are beautiful, and you are going to get so far in life. 

I love you.

Love from your older sister.
This is me signing off.

-Charlotte-

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